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Bit O' Heaven

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Bit O' Heaven
The planet Bit O' Heaven is, much to his chagrin, the homeworld of James Bolivar diGriz. Here is how it is described by young Jimmy in "A Stainless Steel Rat Is Born":

"Bit O’ Heaven was founded some thousands of years ago by some exotic religious cult, which has happily since vanished completely. They came here from another planet; some say it was Dirt or Earth, the rumored home of all mankind, but I doubt it. In any case, things didn’t work out too well. Maybe the endless labors were too much for them-this was certainly no picnic-world in the early days. As the teachers at school remind us as often as they can, particularly when they tell us how spoiled the young folk are these days. We manage not to tell them that they must be spoiled as well because certainly nothing has changed here in the last thousand years.

In the beginning, sure, it must have been rough. All of the plantlife was pure poison to human metabolisms and had to be cleared away so edible crops could be grown. The native fauna was just as poisonous, with teeth and claws to match. It was tough. So tough that ordinary cows and sheep had a shockingly short life expectancy. Selective gene manipulation took care of that and the first porcuswine were sent here. Imagine if you can-and you will need a fertile imagination indeed-a one-tonne angry boar hog with sharp tushes and mean disposition. That’s bad enough, but picture the creature covered with long quills like an insane porcupine. Odd as it sounds, the plan worked; since the farms are still breeding porcuswine in large numbers it had to have worked. Bit O’ Heaven Smoked Porcuswine Hams are famed galaxy-wide.

But you won’t find the galaxy rushing to visit this piggy planet. I grew up here, I know. This place is so boring even the porcuswine fall asleep."

On Bit O' Heaven, a child is considered to have come of age on their seventeenth birthday.

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